Paula, Say It Ain't So!

[Spoiler alert: I'm blogging this live as we watch the American Idol results show.]

[Disclaimer: We only tuned in to hear No Doubt, who hasn't performed yet.]

Dear Paula Abdul,

What happened? I'm watching you sing and dance live on stage right now, and Kevin and I both think this must be a colossal joke. Your dance moves look like my sister imitating your dance moves when she was in 2nd grade. You know, back when you could actually dance. And what's with the canned vocals? We watch AI for live vocals. Are you afraid Randy's gonna tell you it was kind of pitchy? I'm disappointed. If you're going to release a single, you should make sure it doesn't suck. In the meantime, I'm going to pop in my cassette recording of "Spellbound" (yeah, I have the cassette and a cassette player) and long for the good ol' days.

Signed,

The Promise Of A New Day, My Ghetto Booty!

Update: No Doubt totally rocked. At least someone knows how to stage a comeback!