The Cookie Jar: A Really Really Long Time

An actual conversation between Stellan and I:

Stellan: [proudly] I just had my third bowl of macaroni and cheese, Mom!
Me: Stellan, that's great. You are so cool. I want to be just like you when I grow up.
Stellan: [rolls eyes] You're already grown up.
Me: Dang it. I guess I've missed my chance to be like you.
Stellan: You can be like me when...when you grow up into a grandma.
Me: Oh, sounds good. When will that be?
Stellan: Not for a really, really, REALLY long time. [Pause.] Like 2 years or something.

Quote Board

"Dad, when is my birthday?" "You know when your birthday is." "But just tell me." "It's on July 7th." "Again?!" Stellan, Kevin, 8/31/12

"Sometimes I ask myself, 'What would Snape do?'" Kevin, discussing parenting techniques, 7/20/12

"Rachelle, you're my favorite RaRa in the whole world. Who's your favorite mommy?" "Emily!" Krissie and Rachelle, 6/5/12

"Mom, why does the back of that bus have a picture of a person on a potty?" "That's the symbol for a disabled person, son; that person is in a wheelchair." Stellan and Krissie, 9/6/11

"Where you at?" "Fort Walton Beach, not far from Pensacola." "Oh, so not far from Florida." Old friend from South Florida and Krissie, via FB IM 4/12/11

"So, Cinco de Mayo is on the 5th this year; that's a Thursday." Overheard by Kevin at work, 3/2/11

"I hate winter; so many socks." Kevin, 1/14/11

"If she's not dead when we get there, so help me, she will be." GrandMaggie, 1/5/11

"South Florida only has two seasons: summer and diet summer." Kevin, 10/23/10

"Her mouth is moving like lickety-heck." Susan, 8/6/10

"3, 2, 1, blastdown!" Stellan, too many times to count

"Remember 'rejoice in rejection' from the mission? I should be rejoicing up the ying yang right now." Kevin, 7/16/10

"I am like a ballerina." "Why are you like a ballerina?" "Because I'm poopy." Stellan and Daddy, 5/16/10

"Stellan, what's that?" "It's my singerphone." Krissie and Stellan, discussing his Sid the Science Kid-esque microphone, 4/6/10

"Stellan, I have a secret for you: I love Stellan!" "Mommy, I have secret: I love food!" - Krissie and Stellan, 2/5/10

"I heard Oprah is retiring from her TV show. What is she going to do now?" "I heard she's just going to swim around in her giant money vault like Scrooge McDuck." - Tabatha and Kevin, 1/23/10

"That's all South Florida is, right? One big swim up tiki bar?" - Tabatha, 1/22/10

"This guacamole is so good that not even Stellan peeing on me could ruin it." - Krissie, 12/9/09

"Stellan needs to learn that there are cats and there are dogs. And then there are gators." - Granny, 9/19/09

"My dog is totally emo." "What, does he, like, cut himself?" - Two of my seminary students, 9/11/09

"That's your 'slap me bum' card." - Claire Ashby, 8/29/09

"Moms have the most important job in the world. You're building our tomorrow, today." "Tomorrow looks busy." - Auntie Beeb and Krissie, 8/19/09

I want to live with Krista and visit Riley. - Joe Peyton speaking of his wife and 2-year-old respectively, 8/15/09

The Lord hocks us up sometimes, and it is great. - Elder Matthew Steward, 8/11/09. [It's possible he meant "hooks," but I think both may be true.]

You just never know when you're going to need hors d'oeuvres. - Auntie Beeb, 8/02/09

Sparklers are like marijuana; it's a slippery slope. - Granny (Martha Peyton), 7/5/09

I'd even bling for you if you'd stay. - Susan Cook, 6/27/09

It's a good thing you're blonde. If you weren't, you'd be a Chia Pet and everyone would know it. -Rosana Diaz, 6/21/09

[Delivered with Evil Genius Voice.] But how can you take over the world if you are blind? - Kevin says while removing his shirt to flash me, 6/13/09

I'll whamboozle them tomorrow. -Kevin, 6/11/09

The number of wipes used is like the Richter scale of poopy diapers. -Krissie, 6/7/09

The Cookie Jar

Friday, September 7, 2012

A Really Really Long Time

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