Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Punch Line

"A South African tarot-reading concierge, a half naked 7/8 naked flamboyantly gay senior citizen and a high school Spanish teacher from Central Washington walk into my living room."

This is the view we had of the street outside our house on Friday morning. Yep, it started raining on Thursday afternoon and didn't stop for about 24 hours. We got so much rain the street flooded. The driveway flooded. Our car almost flooded. Our home did not flood.
Many were not as lucky as we were. In fact, by about 7:30 PM Thursday night, we gave up all other less effective forms of entertainment and turned off all the lights in our house to watch the lightning storm and the cars trying to make it down the street. Oh so many drivers were unsuccessful. Our street is still littered with cars that stalled out, despite the fervent coaching we were yelling out from the couch.
Did I mention we had company? That's right, one of my mission companions, Janae, was visiting from Washington. She's not from the rainy part of Washington, so this was quite a thrill. At first. When we realized we might get flooded in and she would be trapped in our home instead of going to her teaching workshop the next day, some of the buzz wore off.
We all tramped in the torrential downpour several times that evening to help stranded travelers. We were all dry and tuckered out by 11 and had said our goodnights when we heard something outside. To be honest, it sounded like one of those canister-shaped mooing cow toys. But it wasn't. When I peeked my head out to see what was going on, I saw a woman yelling from her stalled car in front of our house. I couldn't understand what she was saying, so I had to change into not-pajamas (again) and wade across the street; the water was thigh-high by this point.
We couldn't do a thing for her car, but we invited her and her passenger into our house to make calls, get dry, etc.
So they did. The driver was a South African woman who works as a concierge. Her passenger was a sextagenarian gay man ("I'm an Aries, so you know I'm very energetic! I'm sure this is all one big cosmic convergence," he lisped as he came in.) who immediately stripped down to his briefs upon entering our home. He repeatedly refused the bathrobe we offered; I don't think he realized it wasn't for his comfort but for ours.
Fast forward 2 hours. It's a little past 1:30 AM. We've heard Bob (our Aries stripper) tell us all about his 24,000 past lives, the places he's lived, the jobs he's done and we've even met his boyfriend in Montreal via Skype. We know what kind of cocoa Carol prefers, how many kids she has and how she has no solid plan for what to do with her car. As they (finally!) leave, Bob says, "The universe will reward you a million times over for your kindness!" Just then, Stellan started yelling. When I go in, he's actively puking. Some reward, universe!
We did get to reunite with Carol and Bob the next morning. They came to try to see if the car would start (it still hasn't), and to pick up the rest of the stuff they left at our house. They had to wade over from Bob's apartment half a block away, and were delighted to watch Stellan busy at work pulling his wagon through the proverbial mire. We're still flooded, I even had to miss my last day of seminary, which I was really bummed about. But the photos of Stellan turned out so cute, it almost makes up for it. Almost.


deannah said...

WOW. What an amazing story! Florida sounds like quite an adventure. :)

Katie said...

When I realized how good this story was going to be, I went and popped some popcorn to enjoy along with it. You never disappoint.

Karen said...

My question is what were the South African tarot-reading concierge and the [half naked] 7/8 naked flamboyantly gay senior citizen doing together?

krissiecook said...

The two met at a mystical healing center, where they discovered that she was a concierge at the senior center where he lives. She was giving him a ride home. And that's how they met. Believe me, I have plenty of details about both of them I neglected to include in the blog post in the interest of brevity.

Flem said...

Wow this is a fanTAStic story! This is like a once in a lifetime kind of opportunity, vomit or no.

They were lucky that you were there to offer your kindness.

I am going to be telling this for years to come and I wasn't even there.

Vivian said...

My night last night was almost as exciting. Except without the rain and the crazy people.

best. post. ever.

thejerry said...

So was this like a mini hurricane Katrina?

Those pictures are awesome. I like how Stellan just rolls with it.

Jess said...

Wow, that kinda reminds me of the hurricane when we were in TX, Jenae must have enjoyed it. I am glad that you are well, and that Stellan had recovered enough by morning to venture out.

Amanda said...

Laughed out loud! No really. Thanks for sharing.